It was an hour and a half before church started. We were eating lunch. It was then that I realized that I still wasn’t dressed. Four of my six kids weren’t dressed either. I started to panic.
The panic isn’t new. It is something that suddenly began one Sunday a few months ago and has continued to plague me each week… but just on Sundays.
Every week I come up with a new theory of why it is happening. I have to laugh, or at least chuckle to myself, it seems there is no answer to why it happens, it just happens. But this I know, when the crunch of getting out the door and to church on time appears, the anxiety is sure to flare up. This Sunday was no different, except for this…
“Just be the mother that you are.” It pricked my consciousness for a moment.
Then, as if I was translating the message into my own understanding: Just be the mother that I am.
I am the mother that shrugs at her son’s wrinkled shirt, smiles at the pajamas peeking out from another son’s dress clothes, and laughs at the innocence of a daughter who is prancing around in shoes that are a size or two too big for her, and doesn’t care, while wearing a see-through dress — I made her change the dress. I am the mother who, no matter if she walks in late — again — into the furthest seats in the chapel, still has a positive outlook on the day. I am the mother who knows she has done her best to prepare for today despite all the demands on her throughout the week. I am the mother who loves her life no matter how imperfect it might seem to others. The mother who smiles when others might think she is crazy for smiling when it doesn’t seem to fit.
I am that mother until I start to think I need to be a better mother. Maybe one who would have done better, been more organized, had more time to prep for the Sabbath. Such a discord is sure to cause anxiety, right?
If only I could always remember: I am what I am. I am doing all that I can as I strive to be all that God intends for me to be.
I need to love and accept the mother that I am right now. My Heavenly Father does. His Son Jesus does. I need to too.
I am the mother that I am. I love me when I am being me and not thinking about how to be a better me.