I woke up today hearing my mind recite the last lines of some words I had written recently on my personal experience with suicidal anxieties, called Stuck in the Wrists.
“I want to be. I need to be.”
In my words, I found expression for what I sometimes feel when life gets too out of balance and the energy I feel inside gets stuck. For some reason, the energy always seems to get stuck in my wrists. Writing out these words was a way for me to give that experience and the perspective gained from it a true voice. I ended up reading it to a friend who encouraged me to make a video of me reading it. A few days after making the video I found out that September was National Suicide Awareness month and I felt like maybe this was why I felt guided to make it.
Today I posted in on my Facebook page and then walked away. I wasn’t sure how my friends would respond to it. I feared that everyone would try to fix me in an instant. But that didn’t happen. Instead, I just felt their love. Love & support and someone who will listen and say, “You’re not alone,” is all anyone who shares something so vulnerable could ever want.
I have had many people reach out already and tell me that I made them feel like they are not alone. I hope that translates to feeling loved. And I hope that being open, letting go of all shame associated with this topic will open up dialogue and communications and understandings that will eventually lead us to what we are longing for… to be unstuck.
If you have any questions about my personal experience or just need to talk, please don’t hesitate to reach out in the comments or in a private message.