SHORTHAND | Quick Thoughts for a Busy World

The Evolution of the Soul

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When a baby is born a spirit evolves into a soul.

It cannot walk. It cannot talk. It can only be loved.

The baby grows and learns to live. To play. To pray. To love. It is part of a family.

When we are asked to love a baby we too evolve.

We do not know the way to walk. We do not always know the words to say. We learn what it means to love.

We grow and learn to live with that baby. To play with that baby. To pray with them too. To love them. We are their family.

To love a baby is the evolution of the soul. It transforms us into Mother. It transforms us into Father. We become more than we ever were before.

Service with Friends

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As a homeschooling mother the summers are hard for me. I am used to having my kids all to myself until at least 3pm each day. So when the sun comes up and my kids are already itching to go see if their friends can play and that continues until 8pm, I kind of lose it. It is just too much friend time and not enough family time.

I think my struggle is in wanting to know that their time is being well spent. Yes, play is part of life, but there is more to life than play.

In my desperation I called for a non-friend week to solve the problem. That came with a lot of bad attitudes. Understandable.

I only had one rule.

~They could only hang out with friends if I was with them and we were doing service.~

Well that motivated them like nothing else.

We ended up having a great week. My hunger for time with them was filled. I felt good that they couldn’t just run off and be gone for hours. I loved that we were serving together.

I have lifted the ban on hanging out with friends without me with one stipulation: whenever they hang out with friends they have to find a way to do service during that time or they can’t hang out. That’s it.

I have seen the look on the faces of their friends when I have suggested this. One even asked me if Indy will still need to do this once he is old enough to move out of the house… I replied, “I sure hope he would always want to.”

I can imagine a world where the youth are service minded. Where they know when they are together it is to do good. Where they do good even without their parents at their side.

I realize I am raising the bar, but I think it would do us all good if we raised it together and expected more of our already good natured children. Service can be a normal part of childhood and play. They are capable of it and it will help them to become the leaders they are meant to be.

 

5 Minute Clean Up

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Want to know what cleaning up looks like at my house? Well let me paint a picture.

Every hour on the hour starting at 10am an alarm goes off. A special 5-minute mix of the song Mission Impossible starts playing. Immediately everyone sits up and looks to me. What do we need to clean?

I look around, the living room is filled with toys, dirty clothes and shoes out of place, crumbs and books. I exclaim, “The living room!”

The willing troops enlist and scramble because 20 seconds have already passed and they know they need to have the living room clean before the song ends.

Someone is putting the books away, another is sweeping, the others are picking up things and putting them where they belong. I am helping.

About 3 minutes pass and the living room is tidy enough to call good, but why stop there? No we keep going tending to all the details.

Then we hear the signal that the song is about to come to an end, everyone is scrambling. Hurrying to make it count. And then it ends.

“How did we do?” We all take a look around and everyone feels satisfied with their efforts and the results. We high-five!

Another token is earned. Tokens are rewarded at the end of the day by their father who is very glad they are helping mother who used to feel all alone and didn’t know how to motivate the kids to help her clean. One token per task done well. I usually pick one room to clean for the full five minutes, although we have done other things like wiping doorways, laundry, loading and unloading the dishes and so on.

They just recently experienced the fruits of their labors when they reached over 100 tokens that allowed them to buy a movie. They could have rented it for 35 tokens, but together they decided to save up for their goal.

The picture I painted above is the norm, although there are times when some kids or even all kids decide they just don’t want to clean. I choose to remain loving and don’t stress. I don’t hold a carrot before them reminding them of their token goal. I just wait until the next hour when the timer goes off. Sometimes they are just in a funk and it passes.

If we are in the car, I have them take a minute to say sorry to each other for hurt feelings and to think about how they can clean up their hearts. We have used this to get ready to leave and for bedtime.

We even use this at friends’ homes and did so during a service project where we were cleaning for a new mom.

I will have to get a video of it one day to share with you.

If you love this idea, I encourage you to pick a song that is about 5 minutes in length and set it as your alarm for every hour on the hour, or every other hour, and come up with something to save up for with your kids. Then when the alarm goes off each hour, pick one room or big task to do together. Be excited with them. Do your part too. Then make sure to end with high-fives and hugs to celebrate a job well done.

I have found that involving their father in the accountability really makes a difference. I have heard this from others too. And make sure they have an opportunity to clean with their dad on the weekends and maybe once before bedtime.

That’s it! Happy cleaning. (That used to be an oxymoron in my home, but not anymore!)

To see a time lapse of a successful mission, click here. 

To the Fathers of the Stripling Warriors

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Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it. ~Alma 56:47-48

Never has a phrase been so loved when it comes to mothers, but on this Father’s Day it gives me even more understanding of the role of a father. How I revere the roles of both mother and father.

What did their mothers know? What was it that they taught their sons? Why did their sons value liberty over their own lives?

Their mothers knew that the atonement was real. They had publicly witnessed their husbands lay down their weapons of war and lay down their lives to be slaughtered at the hands of their enemies. They saw their husbands in complete peace because of the change that they had experienced through repentance and faith; their husbands feared not death. Why then, would their sons fear death? They didn’t. Their sons had learned to be faithful and not doubting because their parents were faithful and not doubting.

Their mothers taught them, because for many, their fathers were already gone, but it was the testimony of both the living and the dead that taught those young boys.

This Father’s Day, I honor those fathers who day in and day out publicly lay down their weapons of war in honoring their marriage. Who would rather lose their life than break that covenant, not that any life ever need to be lost.

In Christ may we all find hope, love, peace and strength to keep our covenants, teach by example, fulfill our roles as parents and prepare the youth for the ongoing and upcoming battles of life, that their lives may too be spared, that not one will be lost.

I know it. I do not doubt it. The atonement of Christ is real. Fathers are amazing!

Happy Father’s Day!!

 

“We need to take a term which is sometimes spoken of with derision and elevate it. It is the term homemaker. All of us—women, men, youth, and children, single or married—can work at being homemakers. We should “make our homes” places of order, refuge, holiness, and safety. Our homes should be places where the Spirit of the Lord is felt in rich abundance and where the scriptures and the gospel are studied, taught, and lived. What a difference it would make in the world if all people would see themselves as makers of righteous homes. Let us defend the home as a place which is second only to the temple in holiness.” Bonnie L. Oscarson April 2015

The Overworked Housewife

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I am not a housewife.

I am not married to a house.

I am married. I live in a house… along with 7 other souls.

For many years I have employed a housewife.

I have paid her in precious time with my kids, play, laughter, renewing moments, reading time, exploring time, serving time… and at times a loss of patience for those I cared about most.

She took all those payments, but like me, never had the time to spend her wages.

She was too busy cleaning, organizing, scrubbing, tidying, cleaning some more, asking for help, begging for help, pleading for help.

I felt bad for her.

Today I laid off the housewife. I didn’t have anything left to pay her.

The house is feeling her loss. So who is going to take over her job?

Not me.

I am not a housewife. Nor is my husband a house-husband. Nor do we have house-children.

But I do live in a house with 7 other souls. I’m sure we’ll find someway to work it all out together.

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